“Expectation is the root of all suffering,” said Buddha. And gosh darn, he was right.
Expectations placed on other people, on how we think life should go, and expectations placed on ourselves lead to so much emotional heartache. Believe me, I know.
As you may or may not have recently read, my partner and I were scammed out of about $13,000. Gone were our summer plans. For at least two days, I cried — a lot. I couldn’t understand why people hurt other people — especially when they know they are vulnerable.
While I still don’t have an answer to this, what I do know is that dwelling on the past and mistakes serves no one. Nada. Rather, we have to pick ourselves up, adopt an optimistic attitude, and take action to change our futures.
This is easier said than done, right? Well, sometimes.
This isn’t the first time I’ve felt as if life punched me in the gut. And guess what? It WON’T be the last. That’s because, my friend, we all signed up for this whirlwind adventure that oftentimes doesn’t take us where we want to go, but always delivers us to what we need.
Sometimes, it sucks. And then there are those moments of clarity where you go, “Aha! That’s why such and such happened.” We have to remember that those moments are right around the corner. But because that is sometimes hard to do, I’m sharing tips on how we can each find motivation and embrace gratitude, even when life is a bit difficult.
1) Don’t forget, you’re not alone
One of the biggest myths perpetuated by society is that none of us is important and that ultimately, we are alone. What a bunch of baloney! From my travels, I know first-hand that there are tons of God-inspired, loving people who want to make this world a better place. And you know what? Most of them have been shit on at one time or another in life. What sets them apart from assholes, like those who scam, is their determination to do good, no matter what.
If you feel alone, reach out to close friends and family members for support. If you honestly have no one in your life who “gets you” and are having suicidal thoughts, find new friends — including me. I am not kidding, message me here and we’ll strike up a conversation. Let me be the first introduction to a new way of looking at the world. You are not alone, and I’ll introduce you to some fantastic people who believe in you, despite never having met you in person.
Also, take advantage of sites like Meetup where you can join vegan potlucks, outdoor hiking adventures, etc… and meet like-minded people. There are good people everywhere — go find ‘em!
2) Make Peace With What Happened
In my humble opinion, the people who suffer the most are the ones who cannot let go of past hurts, relationship drama, or an attitude of victimization. Yeah, shit happens. But guess what? You have years (most likely) ahead of you to change your situation. What happened is one chapter (if that) of your entire book of life! Don’t let it dictate the rest of the story.
3) Indulge in Some R&R
When I’m feeling hurt or am saddened by the state of the world, I just need some R&R, with those I love, in the comfort of my own home. I love binge-watching shows like The Magicians or iZombie because they are funny and allow me to escape for a little while. Now, I’m not recommending you “escape” to solve your problems. But sometimes, you just need to say “Fuck it” to life and let yourself enjoy what you love.
Doing this will raise your vibration and make you feel happier. As a result, your immune system will also be boosted. Additionally, it will attract more things that make you feel happy. Because the law of attraction works whether or not you are focusing on so-called “positive” or “negative” happenings. It will attract to you what you focus on.
So, my advice is to spend some time alone, doing frivolous things society probably frowns on. (Screw society, anyway, for most people only believe what they do because of indoctrination)
4) Refocus Your Priorities
Once you’re feeling rested and a bit more motivated to re-enter the game of life, it’s time to focus on what you love and make a plan on how to achieve your goals. This time, however, don’t get too comfortable with the fixed plan. Prepare to be lenient, because you know life is going to throw some curveballs.
For example, our plan is to move to Colorado, get jobs in the cannabis industry (or for me, in the healthy living industry), get back on our feet financially, and then continue with our plans to found a carbon-zero Bud & B (emphasis healthy living and connectedness to nature!).
Will everything go according to plan? Oh, hell no. But, we have an outline which we are going to follow, and the details will fill themselves in. This is how you live life without placing too much expectation on the details.
5) Fall in Love With Yourself — Again
Personally, I have a habit of blaming myself when things don’t go my way. That is why it is so important to fall in love with yourself again and again and again in life.
We are human, we are imperfect. It is pretty much guaranteed we are going to mess up. But, if you blame yourself for every little or big thing that happens, you will never get back up on your feet. That is because the relationship you have with yourself is the same relationship you have with the Universe. And, the confidence that results from self-love is usually what propels most visions.
Faith, belief, and willingness to love oneself will result in miraculous, extraordinary opportunities. So what are you waiting for? Take yourself out on a date. Journal about the qualities you do love in yourself. Most importantly, stay humble and every day, work on accepting the “flaws” that you may hate, but make you perfectly you.
I hope this article has been helpful. If you would like to reach out and contact me in regards to it, please do. Follow the link here.